Who am I? It seems I am known best by two titles: Dwight's wife (because everyone in town knows Dwight) and insert name's mom. And I'm okay with that! Because the truth is my family is my life.....everything I do comes back to my family. Yes there are other things I'm involved in, particularly my church, but in the end my identity is "wife" and "mom." Which is really all I ever wanted to do in life. I know, in today's world that isn't much of an ambition. But I truly went to college hoping to find a husband. And I patiently waited through his Master's program till we could finally start our family, which of course led to another two years of not so patiently waiting, but that's another story! Now, twenty years of marriage and 4 kids and one dog later I'm living my dream!
Did I say dream??? Let me clarify....there are many days that I wish I were dreaming! And a few days I thought were a nightmare!! Because of those two years of waiting for baby number one, I didn't want to take any chances for the rest of our desired family and so 15 months later baby number two arrived and 16 months later baby number 3 joined us! Not wanting baby number 4 to feel left behind, but needing a bit of break (since things were obviously fixed!!), we waited a whole two years to meet the final blessing in our family. Yes, if you've done the math, our 7 childless years of marriage became a full house of 4 beautiful babies in just 4 1/2 years. Intense and crazy would just begin to describe those years!
However, one of the biggest myths being told to young and new moms is "It will get easier." I'm sure I even uttered those same words myself when my four were the ripe old ages of 4, 6, 7, & 8! Oh, it does get easier in some ways.....no 2am feedings, no diaper changes right as you were walking out the door, independent dressing & eating, going to the bathroom alone. But it does not get easier!! Honestly, there are
Now, lest you think I'm not enjoying my children at this particular tween/teenage phase, I am! I love shopping with my 13 year old daughter and talking with my almost 12 year old. My 10 1/2 year old son still freely gives hugs and encourages me daily. My 8 year old is unabashedly excited for me to come eat lunch with him at school. And vacations are much more fun when everyone can enjoy the activities! I'm amazed regularly at how fast they're growing and changing and becoming their own person. They make me laugh and they give me a reason to bake chocolate chip cookies every week!
But here's the deal: It does get harder! When we're late for church, it's not because the baby had a dirty diaper (which gives every mom an automatic pass for timeliness!), but because I couldn't get my girls away from the mirror or out of bed! I can't just scoop the dawdling child into my arms and rush out the door. When my children are tired and whiny, I can't put them in the crib and close the door for happy nap - although they do get sent to their room - with a slammed door, of course! And when they are fussy (yes, tweens/teenagers get fussy), I can't just rock them till they fall asleep in my arms and then gaze down at the sweet, innocent face in my arms. At age 4, a "big" problem like a skinned knee goes away with a band-aid and a kiss. Mom knows what's best when you're 6 and there's absolutely no doubt in your mind that she loves you. And while I was always learning as we entered a stage, for the most part I kind of felt like I knew what I was doing. If nothing else, I was bigger and smarter than them and that had to count for something!
And then one day my oldest went to middle school, grew 5 inches overnight and became full of hormones. The outside influences of school took on a whole level of concern and my control over her world greatly diminished. Friends take priority over family and activities take over our calendar. Worry about a skin rash and whether or not to go to the ER for croup is suddenly nothing in comparison to the worry of parenting this new creature in my house! Now I'm gathering my friends about me to pray about books and movies and friends instead of runny noses and the terrible twos. The realization that in just 5 years, I'll have one less child at home is sobering - am I doing enough to prepare her for life? I truly pray for wisdom every day and realize daily that I am not nearly as smart or wise as I thought I might be 5 years ago.
Which, finally, brings me to my idea for this blog! We set pretty high standards in our home for what our children will view - TV, movie or computer - and that has been fairly easy to make decisions on so far. I've found great resources for media review, such as Pluggedin.com. But I haven't been able to find as many resources for book reviews, with a Christian worldview. I love to read and as a child, would check out as many Nancy Drew as I could and then read them all in a weekend. It was, and still is, my favorite past-time. There is nothing like curling up with a good book, a comfy blanket and a mug of hot cocoa. Thankfully, most of my children like to read as well, but I've discovered the children's library is not quite as innocent as when I was a child and the young adult section is most definitely not! I have finally decided that rather than wishing for a resource, I should just begin to review books myself and since I'm assuming there are other moms who feel the same as I do, I should share with whomever is interested.
I hope you'll join me on my new journey! We'll see where it takes us!
